“I’ll text you the details.”I would have protested but people had started boarding the train and there was no time. I hastily wrote my number on his arm and handed the pen back to him.“Sorry – I really have to go.” I started moving through the flurry of commuters.“You’d better show up!” Hanson yelled after me. “You always were the life and soul of my parties!”I waved at him, conscious that I’d begun to frown again.*Life and soul? Sarcasm, surely? I thought about him for the entire train ride. During the day and the next day too, thoughts of him kept flickering into my mind like a fire that refused to go out. We’d never been particularly close but I felt like we’d had a mutual kind of respect for one another.He’d invite me to his parties. Not by text message. Instead, during Art class, the only subject we had together, he’d shadow me to the dried up oil paints and make small talk as he watched me try to extract yellow ochre from ancient tubes.“You’ll come by tonight, won’t you?. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this, shall we??Love, Your HubbyTo My Dearest Husband,I think things are a little.
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